Guilty
by Waterlily A
Summary: It had never mattered to her. Now it did.


Yes! Second fic published, well, drabble I mean.

Anyway I wanted to thank _Mew Sakuranbo-Mew Cherries_ and _Ryou's Stalker_ for the wonderful reviews in _As Time Went By._

Oh, and like always, read and review!

P.S: Though I did write about sticking to the manga, this will probably happen in the anime's universe because it made much more sense. I'm referring to the ending where the aliens just went back to their planet without even showing up a nose for saying goodbye (which is somehow disturbing to me). But at least that works well with my story here. Oh yeah, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own TMM

* * *

**Guilty**

Words never mattered.

That was one thing she learned to believe when it comes to him.

That what came out from someone's mouth could be created, artificially, specially used to masked one's true expressions. She knew it from the time that he swooped down and stole one kiss that all those words were meant to hurt yet a form of entertainment to him.

She was his toy. His Koneko-chan. Something to string along and make him pleased.

Those were just meaningless taunting.

She was no more than a thing. And she had no difficulties to believe this firmly.

But even if words were just a bluff, nothing could deny the look in someone's eyes.

Especially when both of them were radiating an intense color of golden.

She had to admit that it was the sole thing that attracts her to him. The beautiful amber that could unconsciously drawn her to him, which in one flick of a second it was a world with only the two of them. Though that only happened in one or two occasions, she would rather not admit this.

She would never have dreamed of that look in those eyes or thought that such words could flow out of his mouth with unmistakably deep emotions.

The tale of an alien falling in love with the mew leader was just a stupid made up story.

Until now.

She had heard every word, every mockery, had refused his forceful advances and stolen kisses. Yet she had failed to witness the slight hint of pure affection that ran beneath his ruthless figure.

It was stupid.

She knew that would be the response of her old self if she had heard such nonsense. Yet she can't ignore the desperation in his voice, the cuts and bruises marked on his body, the clawed fingers clinging tightly to hers, and the amber orbs that burned right through her very soul.

It was now that the realization had hit her too late, triggered by the look of lifeless body of him.

She should have known.

The hidden spark that flickers into those pleading gaze as he begged her to return his feelings,

The overflowing warmth that came for the first time as she encountered his pale cold skin,

And the emotion that ran deep and true beneath his raspy voice before he succumbed to silence.

It had never mattered to her.

Now it did.

His last declaration that haunted her, echoing more sorrowfully each time it was cried.

Picturing the look of regret in his eyes as he saw her shedding her tears and how his face seem to held a tiny sheer of happiness when she wrapped his arms around him.

And the last kiss before he was gone from her life.

There was something odd that stirred inside her every time the scene flashed through her mind in perfect memory.

It went on, swirled, and dwelled in her mind. Wandering, trying to imagine how the boy had felt then when he had witnessed her love for the human or when she had declared that those feelings would never change.

Against the odds, he had his resolve and save her.

Protect her.

Still tried to hope and love.

The pain of thinking to do the same crushed her, as it dawned that he had sacrificed all of his for her.

She questioned herself how much courage and determination it takes to leave it all behind. To risk everything he had for one single purpose.

Only to be met with a rejection… and a broken heart.

The same voice played in her mind with the same words with exact clearance that rang true and sincere.

_I love you _

* * *

A tear ran down trickling her cheek as she opened her eyes from the dream.

Ichigo whispered to the shaking leaves outside her window as if she wished someone was there listening.

"I am sorry."

The amber orbs crossed her mind again as she fought back the tears brimming in her hot-soaked red eyes.

"I really am."

The leaves rustled as the air shifted and rippled to a silent tranquil. It was only a few seconds that the only sounds present was Ichigo's ragged sobs and the quiet gust of wind blowing its way up towards the night sky.

* * *

AN: I hope Ichigo wasn't _that _OOC ( since we all know she mostly ignored him in the anime). I just thought that how ditsy, clumsy, (and dumb, if you consider which pairing was made as canon) a 13 year old scatter-brain Ichigo is, there can't be no feelings of sympathy or at least guilt when the matter of Kish came forward. I mean, there's this guy who was totally in love with you, but the problem is you like a another guy who also liked you back. Then, this guy you rejected still tried to help you and all (in this case,_ died_ for you) when you did absolutely nothing for him. I don't know about the rest of you but_ I_ would probably feel like above (the story) if a similar situation gets on me.

What I'm trying to imply is that Ichigo is sorry for not doing anything for him and for not being able to return his feelings. Pretty sad, though it won't likely to happen in the real TMM dimension. Poor Kish.

-Lil'


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